Oh! Ye who hast been scrapped!

Today’s going to be an interesting article for those of you who take an interest in cars.

The Governmental People released a list of all the cars they’ve scrapped through the Vehicle Scrappage Scheme. Today I intend to go through the top 5 cars scrapped, to celebrate the hunks of junk we all stuck it to.

  1. Ford Fiesta – 13,622 Scrapped
    So, Britain’s officially best-selling car is hitting the scrapheaps in their tens of thousands.
    Something leads me to suspect that they are either Mk4 or Mk5 Fiestas, because let’s face it. Nobody really wants one anymore.
  2. Nissan Micra – 11,808 Scrapped
    This car deserves nothing more. Most likely scrapped was the Mk2
  3. Vauxhall Corsa – 10,453 Scrapped
    If I had the choice, I’d take the Corsa C over the Corsa B any day, which is why I suspect that the Corsa B was worse off in those figures
  4. Volkswagen Polo – 8,432 Scrapped
    I’m sorry, but the Polo has nothing going for it. I bet you most of those were either Typ 6Ns or Typ 9Ns.
  5. Vauxhall Astra – 8,066 Scrapped
    I suspect 3rd or 4th Gen. These cars were simply terrible

That’s it. I’m going back to work, and I suggest you do the same before someone catches you.
I’ll do a proper post sometime soon

How to look good in your Prius

Now. This IS unusual. I haven’t talked about the one thing I talk about all of the time normally on my blog. No, it’s not looking good, it’s cars. Here we go…

It is a common stereotype: Prius drivers are boring people who ought to be locked up in old people homes for making the horrendous mistake of buying themselves a prius in the first place. Not so anymore, as I have some simple tips to help you look good whilst prancing around in your prius (Note: these tips may or may not affect your oh-so-sought-for gas mileage – YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Oh, and these tips are not guaranteed to work…):

  1. Wear an awesome hat and pair of glasses like you stole it. If you look like a normal person in a Prius, you’re doing it wrong. Ramp up the macho and wear a friggin’ awesome cowboy hat and an awesome pair of shades! When you get out, people will imagine you’re leaving a really awesome muscle car. They will (or they might).
  2. Drive it like you stole it. If you drive your Prius by the book, coasting wherever possible to save fuel and recharge the batteries, people will loathe you (Because they want to get past you and look better than you). The Prius has the advantage over similar vehicles in its class because pedal to the metal equals both the petrol and electric engine give you all they’ve got. MORE POWER!
  3. Paint it like you stole it. What good is it wearing you silly hat and your silly glasses and driving it like a silly little kid who ought to be on public transport when nobody notices your silent blur (silent unless you’ve got your foot planted) whizzing past them? Give yourself an epic white/blue two tone and rock that motherf*cker!
  4. Park it like you stole it. You have your clothes, your speed and your two tone. Now what? Go find an executive’s parking space and park in it of course! People will eventually catch on that the rich kids are spending their money on new Prii (Yes, that is the official plural for Prius) and will view you as a cool pioneer in Prius awesomeness.

There you go. You now know how to look good in your Prius, so don your hat, your glasses, give it a frikkin’ awesome paint-do and race it down to the exec’s space and walk away like a badass.

Be a proud Priuser.

I’m ill as unexpected, please leave a message

I don’t like being ill, nor do many other people I know of.

However, to be ill is to be relieved of normal duties for a period of time, which can be used to recuperate and recharge. This recuperation and recharging is very important for a person akin to myself as you need all the energy you can get.

What else is very important is to know that you are not the only one that’s ill.

Winter

It’s cold and dreary outside – and since I’ve been home for an hour, and there is a cold cup of tea I made waiting downstairs because of it – It’s also dark.

It’s that miserable time of the year again.

Now, I won’t lie: I like rain. There’s something really nice about just walking on your own down a quiet street where it’s just you and the rain. Oh, and the umbrella. I always have my umbrella with me.

This is the time of year where everybody (myself included) gets a bit snuffly, and we go around as a staggered group of warriors, passing it on to anyone who hasn’t got it, because that’s just what we do.

I’d love to sit and continue writing, but I have some other work to attend to.

Please come back soon, and one hopes I will have written something good.

I’m sorry I haven’t posted for so long. A lot has happened since then. Happy Colorado day, Tisha B’av, Victory Day, Hawaii Statehood Day, Labor Day, Carl Garner Federal Lands Cleanup Day, National Grandparents Day, California Admission Day, Patriot Day, Constitution and Citizenship Day, Emancipation Day, September Equinox, Rosh Hashana, Native Americans’ Day, Gold Star Mothers Day, Feast of St Francis of Assisi, Yom Kippur, Eid al-Adha, Child Health Day, Sukkot, Leif Erikson Day, Columbus Day, White Can Safety Day, Shmini Atzeret, Boss’s Day, Alaska Day, Diwali, Muharram, Halloween, Nevada Day, All Saints’ Day, All Souls’ Day, End of Daylight Saving Time, Election Day, Return Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, Presidents’ Day, Black Friday, American Indian Heritage Day, First Day of Advent, Cyber Monday (whoop, whoop!), St Nicholas’ Day, Pearl Harbour Remembrance Day, Feast of the Immaculate Conception, Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, Hanukkah, Pan Am Aviation Day, Wright Brothers Day, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, Epiphany, Orthodox Christmas Day, Stephen Foster Memorial Day, Prophet’s Birthday, Orthodox New Year, Tu B’Shevat, Lee Jackson Day, Confederate Memorial Day, Martin Luther King Day, Idaho Human Rights Day, Civil Rights Day, Kansas Day, Chinese New Tear, National Freedom Day, Groundhog Day and Rosa Parks Day

I don’t know about you, but I think we have too many holidays.

I can’t buy clothes.

Firstly, Happy New Year! Hope you guys all had good Christmases!

So I went shopping the other day, because my Dad decided that my clothes were getting too small for me. Well, he told me that they were too small, for about the fifteenth time, and my Mum had been fed up of buying clothes that then didn’t fit me when she got home, so we went into town together.

Now, I know what you’re all thinking: “Oh whatever, it’s not hard buying clothes, it’s too easy nowadays!” and I can see why you think that, but in actual fact you’re all wrong.

I’ve been having people constantly telling me that I’m skinny, and it’s true. I am skinny, but I’m also quite tall. This makes buying clothes (trousers, especially) quite hard. You can’t get trousers that are long enough but slim enough for me.

So I’m made to try on ‘skinny’ fit trousers – which is the wrong idea altogether; I really don’t like skinny fit trousers.

This means we have a real struggle with trousers. There’s only so much that a belt can do, and it usually ends up with great huge folds of fabric at the back of my trousers. Clearly this isn’t ideal, and causes problems.

So I’m having a moan on two things here: Trousers – which I have talked about, and Tops – which I haven’t.

Now, tops aren’t too hard to get in my size, although tend to be a little baggy because they aren’t designed for someone as skinny as me. Most of the time I’m alright with it, as long as it isn’t something like a shirt. Baggy shirts are worthy of either a charity shop, or a bin. Whichever is within closest reach – usually a bin in my case, although it hasn’t come to that yet.

So I really have just logged in to have a moan at the clothing companies. I know other people who have the same problem. They just see that the majority of people are short and fat, basically. It’s not true. To get clothes that fit properly, we need to get them tailored, which costs a small fortune, or hunt really hard – best done in summer, when it is warm.

So in the unlikely event that anyone from a major clothing company is reading this, please give us something to wear! Thanks

See you later, and don’t forget to have a look at the poll below!

Ben Wilkinson